her vagine was all disorganized.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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