Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize