Your mouth is God's brothel.
I CAN MOONWALK!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
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He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
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I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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