If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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