Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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