I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize