You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize