It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
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Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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