Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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