make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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