So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
are you so shy because you have an std?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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