Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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