It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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