Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize