Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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