He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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