So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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