Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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