Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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