why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
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I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
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You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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