let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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