I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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