Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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