I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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