I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
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you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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