Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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