Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Dick very happy bro
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we should paint friendship bongs
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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