That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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