fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize