if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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