My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize