JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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