I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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