My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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