I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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