Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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