Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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