I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize