do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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