At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this boner is exhausting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize