How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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