I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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