I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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