Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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