dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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