bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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