If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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