I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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