Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
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I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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