im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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